Don't worry........

Don't worry guys....I'm not going to see Michael alone, and I'm meeting him at the tattoo shop. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that he'll be a perfect gentleman, but I'm not going to his house. I don't plan on staying long. My friend has to babysit for her nephew Friday evening, so we've got a schedule to keep.

I am a little nervous of how he will respond to seeing me. He is the king of manipulation. But, I have Ryan, and we have so much more, and are so much closer than Michael and I ever were. It seems strange that I'm still technically married. I felt alone for so long even while Michael and I were still together. In all reality, I feel more for Ryan in only about a year than I ever felt for Michael in the ten years we were together.

Anyway, I don't want anyone to worry. If Michael would hurt me in any way, it would be emotionally...not physically, and I've learned how to deal with the emotions pretty well over the years with him. I'm a pretty tough cookie, you know?

wish me luck!!!

Well, now that I have gotten some things taken care of at home, I'm ready to take care of some other business.

This Friday I will be driving down to Indy to pick up the last of my divorce papers from Michael. I've been waiting for him to send them back to me for almost six months. (he never was the most motivated person I've known) I've called him nearly every day for the last month hounding him about this. It's a little rediculous that it's taken us a year and a half to get through a "non-contested" divorce. He has told me over and over again that he would mail the paperwork to me, and time and time again, I've checked my mail to find nothing other than the typical junk and bills.....no divorce papers. So, I decided enough is enough, and when he told me today that they'd be in the mail tomorrow, I told him to keep them and I would be down on Friday to get them in person.

It will be strange to see him after all this time. In a way, I'm a little anxious to see him. Mainly to see if I believe him when he says he's off drugs. He sounds good on the phone, but I sat right next to him at his worst, and heard him sound very good on the phone to others. Until I see him myself, I won't believe it. For his sake, I hope he is telling me the truth. I wish him nothing but good days for his future. So it will be interesting.

It has been almost two years since he moved out, and about 19 months since we've seen eachother. In some ways, it feels like it was a completely different lifetime. But, then again, it's also hard to believe he's been gone that long.

You know, they DO say that time flies when you're having fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so fresh and so clean clean!!!!!

Oh yes!!!
It's official......I have water!!!!
It's amazing to me that it took less than a week for the church to collect ALL the money for my water AND get it fixed. My yard is a huge swamp now, but it's a small price to pay to be able to shower in my own home again.
I am so thankful to have so many people looking out for me. I like to think I don't need anyone to take care of me, but I can't deny that it has taken a huge weight off my shoulders to have this taken care of.
The only thing I'm afraid of now, is becoming obsessive compulsive about washing my hands, brushing my teeth, flushing the toilet........basically anything that has to do with water. I'm surprised my gums aren't bleeding yet!!!!

I feel so fresh and so clean clean!!!!!

Do YOU have a song that gives you chills?

Have you ever heard a song that hits so close to home that it gives you chills every time you hear it?

Here are a few lyrics from a song by Ekoostik Hookah called "Another You." It really gets to me every time I hear it because I've had the same thoughts myself after everything I've gone through with my ex-husband. Now I'm with someone who treats me like gold.

I said "I don't deserve your anger,"
she said I don't deserve her love,
I said "I'll give you everything,"
she said that wouldn't be enough.

It's been six years since I've seen her,
at least a thousand miles between,
and my new lady's just as kind to me
as the old one was ever mean.

And I don't care that she's gone
and if I ever see her face,
I'll say "I can't believe I begged for you,
you know it seems like such a waste."

But then she did get one thing right,
there was only one thing left to do.
So now here I am,
a different man,
in another time, another place,
with another you.

That's only a few verses of the song, but you get the general idea.....

The Crow

As I was sitting flipping through channels, frustrated at all the crap on TV these days, I came across a great movie I hadn't seen in awhile. It was "The Crow" with Brandon Lee. What a great movie!!! It's a little creepy, so for some of my family who are faint hearted, I wouldn't recommend it.

I've always been a little intrigued by the movie becuase it's kind of dark, but also due to the fact that Brandon died while filming it. If I remember right, he was shot by a real bullet in a scene where he was being shot at, and obviously, the cast was supposed to be using blanks. The fact that this happened, gives the whole movie a different feel, knowing what went on.

Anyway, it's nice to actually find something worth watching on TV once in awhile.

FYI: The Crow soundtrack is great!!!

music pick for today........

For the last few days, I have been hooked on Van Morrison. I don't think my Moondance CD has left my car stereo for about a week. Although my favorite Van Morrison song (Brown Eyed Girl) isn't on this disc, it has some other great tunes like "Into the Mystic" and "These Dreams of You."

Another CD that has caught my attention is Paul Mccartney's new release, called "Chaos and Creation in the Backyard." I haven't heard the whole thing, but I saw a documentary about the recording sessions that was very good. Paul Mccartney is creditied with playing several of the instruments throughout the album. Some that I can actually remember are the drums, guitar, bass, keyboards, block flute, and something called the harmonium. I have no idea what that is, but I thought a lot more of the album when I heard that he had done that. The music is pretty basic, but Paul had a few songs with some great lyrics. I don't own it yet, but I will soon.

Last, for today, anyone who likes the blues, and/or Aerosmith, should check out their CD called "Honkin' on Bobo." It is an album that was released a year or two ago, but I just recently found it. It is mainly covers of old blues songs. A couple of the songs that I liked were "Shame, Shame, Shame" and "Eyesight to the Blind."

humbled........

Well, once again, things are falling into place for good ol' Alli.

I just got the most humbling message from a good friend of mine yesterday. Apparently, my friends and nieghbors in West Middleton are getting together with West Middleton United Methodist Church to help me out with all the water problems I have had at my home. Some of you may not have realized that I have been without water for nearly six months now. My neighbors, on the other hand, are very aware, because it's usually their doors I'm knocking on to refill my jugs. It has been a huge struggle trying to save any extra money. My credit was ruined when Michael got ahold of my money, and I have to admit, I didn't always make the best financial decisions in the past. So, it has been one denial after another trynig to get loans, refinancing on my house, or any other assistance for that matter. I have had some very generous people (you know who you are) that have donated to the "Well Fund," and I thank you with all my heart.

When I got the news about the help they're providing, I almost cried......I don't cry. (It's called Lexapro) Most people would look at me and say I was crazy, or irresponsible maybe, for not being able to take care of this myself. I'm a grown woman (I don't feel like it sometimes,) I have a decent job, and in my opinion, I should be able to do this on my own. But, I tend to be a little stubborn, and I like to learn the hard way....I have definitely learned the hard way how NOT to handle my money. If it weren't for Ryan providing me with concert tickets and gas money for the shows all summer, I would have rotted away in my own little drought and misery. (Thank you, Honey, for keeping me sane this summer, and giving me an escape!!!)

Anyway, I just felt the need to let everyone know how thankful I am to have such loving and caring people surrounding me. I may not be wealthy in the monetary sense, but right now I feel like the most wealthy woman in the world!!!!

Hookahville!!!!!!!!!

Well, here I am, back at work, still recuperating from Hookahville, which was this past weekend.

I threw in a couple photos of two of my favorite guys. Eric, here to the left is the one I call my "Buddy." I had such a great time watching him, and talking with him after the show. I got a pretty cool picture of us together...me on his shoulders. I was so excited. Too bad I don't have a digital camera to share it with all of you.

Johnny, up there with the bongo drums, is another band member who I always try to chit chat with if possible. He always has this glow to him. Especially now, since he just got married a couple weeks ago....Congrats Johnny!!!


I was a little fearful of facing bad weather after all the hurricaine remnants rolling through, but the weekend turned out to be beautiful. Ryan and I were both very thankful for the perfect weekend we had. I do have to admit, however, my butt and legs hurt SOOOOOO bad from walking and dancing, and just being silly.

I actually hopped into a hoola hoop, which I haven't done in years. I think it would be a great form of exercise, so I'm considering it. Plus, I just didn't like being shown up by these little 10 year olds who can hoola for hours on end.

That's one of the great things about Hookahville. There are so many families there. The kids have plenty to do, and there are NEVER any hassells with the crowd. It's just not like that. I don't know of many places you can go with thousands of people, and so little security, and not have problems. The band makes their opinions very clear on making it a family friendly environment.

The shows were great, of course!! There were several bands there that I was not real familiar with, but I'm always up for something new. One band I really enjoyed was called the Hackensaw Boys. They were mostly bluegrass...with a little rock mixed in. I was very excited to have the chance to see Little Feat. They've been rocking out for decades. In fact, my dad saw them back in the late seventies, and I have an original poster from one of their shows in a small venue in New York from when my dad lived there. We also got to see Donna and the Buffalo, and DJ logic. So, as you can see, they try to get a good mixture of different music genres all together...it's a great setup.

Ekoostik Hookah rocked both nights!!! I was so excited to hear my man Eric sing a couple songs. I make him blush when I tell him how much I love to hear him sing. Isn't that funny...this hard core biker, drummer, still gets a little self concious...how cute. (He'd probably kill me for saying he's "cute") Cliff pulled off a great cover of "These Dreams of You" by Van Morrison, who is one of my favorites. So, I was glad to hear that.

Of course, just as always, Eric sang the last song of the last set. He always does the finale. I look forward to that every year, but it's also a little bitter sweet knowing that the night is coming to an end. The finale is the only time he steps away from the drums, so, of course, I'm always right up front. I just can't get enough of that guy!!

My next plan is to e-mail him again, and stroke his ego a little about him singing. He DID tell me that we will definitely keep in touch while the band is taking their break this winter. He even mentioned coming to Ohio to check out some cool hangouts. Ryan will be along for the ride of course. Ryan is still number one, but he's all for us hanging out with the band, so I'm all over it!!!!

When I have more time, and my memory is refreshed a little, I'll write more details about the show.

Until then.............everyone take care.............and SMILE!!!!!

music pick for today

I recently picked up the new Willie Nelson album. It's his first reggae album...yep, Willie's gone reggae on us. In all actuality, it's still Willie, with a few reggae beats and some different instruments. I have to say, I think it's a great pick.

I've also recently become very fond of my Weir Here disc, by Bob Weir. I've had it for several months, and just pulled it out and dusted it off a few days ago on the roadie to Ohio. Everyone should listen to Bob when he says "Women are Smarter" he's a very smart man!! That's my favorite quote right now. I'm probably safe to say that Ryan is tired of hearing it.

However, that's what he gets for quoting one of his favorites albums right now that says "being handsome means never having to you're sorry" Sorry, Baby, I don't think so!!!!

Last, but definitely not least, I picked up a double disc of the band called "One Under," consisting of a couple members from Ekoostik Hookah. Great album...a must have.

congrats Cuz!!!

I just found out my cousin Sarah is pregnant again!!! I'm so happy for her and Craig!! That little baby is so lucky to have a big brother like Ari. They will be about two years apart...good timing Cuz!!! I love you guys and I am so happy for you!!!