Friday, November 04, 2005

I love my job most days, but sometimes I lose sleep over it.

I can't give too many details due to the fact that I work in a medical facility, and that would be a violation of patient confidentiality. However, working in this area is sometimes difficult due to the type of trauma we deal with, or even witnessing the ER doctor telling someone that their family member has passed away.

Sometimes, our ER staff, or even myself, may be the last person that these people ever see or talk to. This is the type of thing that makes it hard to sleep at night. More than once, I know for a fact that I have been the last person to either witness the last conversation, or have the last conversation of someone's life. Knowing how I felt when I lost my dad, I know those are some of life's most precious moments. Also, you are left with no doubt about how everything actually happened. If I had not been at my dad's side, I would wonder forever. I have found peace in knowing how everything happened.

I feel almost guilty to have been at a certain place at a certain time, when I feel like it wasn't my place to be there. These people and their families are left with unanswered questions, and endless possibilites running through their minds. I just hope that I can provide some comfort and support to patients and families in need.

The last words of a few people, whom I never knew personally, will echo in my mind forever.


s-hooks said...

It's really good to hear that you recognize that. Some people in the medical field seem to be numb to that kind of thing anymore.

Rosie said...

I think it's good that you feel so much and I can see that it's too much for you also. But be GLAD that you DO feel.

My aunt in Texas was a nurse for a long time almost 30 years and she did get numb for a while until her nephew came to live with her about five years before she retired. She is a very felling person today, I am so glad that she is.

Andrea said...

Allison, you have a caring and gentle soul. I bet you're very calming to people who you share those last few moments with. And because you did it with your dad you know how much it means and give so much more as a result.

Actually this is something to be thankful for. You not only give the gift of your training but also a gift of your heart when you work with people who are in such need and you're there to provide it, even when there's nothing you can do but watch them or hold their hand.

How lucky for them that they had you when a family member wasn't able to be beside them.

And how lucky for you because really, God is giving you a blessing each time. You are helping people move on to another place and how scary might that be for them if they had to do alone....

Love you!!

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