Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Final Treck

Well, the time has finally come to officially say goodbye to my boys.......Hang on while I grab a tissue.

Anyway, tomorrow night, at about this time, I will be shaking my booty for the last time to Ekoostik Hookah as I know them. Their last show is actually new year's Eve, but due to other plans, I will not be there. However, Ryan and I are leaving in the morning for Newport, kentucky where they will play their last show at the Southgate House.

Going back to Southgate House alone is exciting for me. I have continued to dream (literally) about this place on a pretty regular basis since seeing Hookah play there last year. I had a blog entry about Southgate House and how it constantly haunts
my mind a few months ago...I think I called it "dreams." So, it should be interesting to see if this visit raises as many questions in my head. I have done a little research since I was there last year, and hope to get some more answers to this bizaar obsession of mine. I plan on taking plenty of pictures with my new digital camera that Santa brought me, so hopefully I can capture some of its eeriness to share with all of you.

It is going to be a very bitter sweet evening. It's exciting as always knowing that I have another show right around the corner, but that will all be done and gone after tomorrow night. I'm not usually a softy about things, but it will be rough to hold back the tears at the end of the show. I feel like I'm losing a big piece of my heart. I know it may sound rediculous to some people who have never been in my shoes, but for those of you who have, I'll take all the sympathy I can get.

I have been reassured that my one big fear will not happen. That is losing touch with these guys. I have come to call them my friends over these last few years of following them. Eric and I have been in touch several times, and although he doesn't have any other side bands right now, I think we'll manage to hang out and keep in touch. I've also talked to Cliff, the bass player, and he will be moving to Colorado this spring. Ryan and I already have his address, so hopefully, we'll be able to keep in touch with him as well.

As for the rest of the guys, I guess that remains to be seen. We plan on following them in all their future endeavors, wherever that may lead. We will definitely be following Johnny and Ed with their new band One Under. ( ) The way I'd like to look at it is....this just means more shows for us in the future. Maybe Eric will join us for a few.

So, as I end my year with my favorite band, and my favorite man, I wish you all the best in the new year.

Thank you all for being so kind and making such a wonderful difference in my life. i would be lost without my family and friends..........................I came for the music..............I stay for the family.


Thursday, December 22, 2005

back in 1942

Back on this day, December 22nd, 1942, there was a very wonderful person brought into this world.

Jack Robert Simmons 1942-1998

He would have been 63 years old today. It's impossible to not think of Dad on this day every year, which is a good thing, because he always makes me smile.

He always told me that smiles and laughing were contagious. With Dad around, that was always true!!! He was one of the most jovial and positive people to anyone who ever knew him.

On this day, I hope everyone will smile at my dad just like I do every day. He would be happy to be responsble for putting another smile on our faces one more time.

I LOVE YOU DAD.......and I pray you are at peace............






Wednesday, December 21, 2005

need a good laugh?

Make sure you turn the volume up for this one.

Maybe I'm just plain silly, but I laughed so hard, I almost peed (or tinkled..for Andrea) my pants when I saw it!!!

You will need to scroll to the top of the screen when it comes up. For some reason, I can't figure it out otherwise.

Hope it puts a big smile on your face!!!

stuff that annoys me!!!!

Stuff that Annoys Me!
1.People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

2.People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3.When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Screw off. What good is a cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

4. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5.When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No idiot, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the frigging ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

6.When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

7.When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know a$$hole, you frigging pulled me over.

8.When people say "Life is short." What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What? Are they going to do something that's longer?

9.When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's one piece of paper!

10.When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here idiot!

11.People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Isn't it nice when the day just isn't goin' right, and someone comes along and does something really nice for you?

I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, or go above and beyond my call of duty, but one of my patients just decided that I needed a hug today.

Whether he knew it or not, I really needed that's those little things that make a big difference in our lives every day.

So thank you to my thoughtful patient that made me feel better about the day.


innovative..or just plain cruel???

OK, seems like it would work, but I'm not sure the kids need to learn the idea of multitasking so early.........any comments???????

Monday, December 19, 2005

women drivers suck...yeah, I said it!!

I think I must have come across all the idiots in Kokomo today on my way to work.

The route I take to work requires me to go through five stop lights. There were four old women drivers infront of me stopping at the green lights!!!!!!!!! Four out of five freakin' lights, I made unecessary stops at. Do you realize I could've clocked in about three minutes sooner if it weren't for these idiots? What the hell is wrong with these people?

I like to scream a lot in my car, but I try to be careful not to flip people off, because I might just have to x-ray that stupid old woman when I finally make it to work that day!!

Some days people just drive me crazy!!!

Where's my Klonopin when I need them?!?!?!?

Saturday, December 17, 2005

be awake

Be awake
Love yourself
and be awake
-today, tomorrow, always.
First establish yourself in the way,
then teach others,
and so defeat sorrow.
To straighten the crooked
you must first do a harder thing
-straighten yourself.
You are the only master.
Who else?
Subdue yourself,
and discover your master.

May the Four Winds Blow you Safely Home

"May the four winds blow you safely home"................

These are lyrics that have gotten me safely home at least in my mind so many times......Thank you Robert Hunter for writing these beautiful words, and of course Thank you to Jerry Garcia, for putting his music with them to become the song.........Another collaboration that has touched me deeply.

Franklin's Tower

In another times forgotten space

Your eyes looked from your mother’s face

Wallflower seed on the sand and stone

May the four winds blow you safely home.

Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew

I’ll tell you where the four winds dwell

In franklin’s tower there hangs a bell

It can ring, turn night to day

It can ring like fire when you loose your way.

Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew

God save the child that rings that bell

It may have one good ring, baby, you can’t tell

One watch by night, one watch by day

If you get confused listen to the music play.

Some come to laugh their past away

Some come to make it just one more day

Whichever way your pleasure tends

If you plant ice you’re gonna harvest the wind.

Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew

In franklin’s tower the four winds sleep

Like four lean hounds the lighthouse keep

Wildflower seed on the sand and wind

May the four winds blow you home again.

Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew
You’d better roll away the dew
Roll away the dew
Roll away the dew
Roll away the dewYou’d better roll away the dew - roll away.

PS This is the song I named my dog Franklin after...incase you care:-)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Fly in the toilet????

The following article from About was forwarded to me from a friend. Who knows if it's really true....but it sounds like a good idea to me!!!

You can see a better picture from this link:

For more information on this topic, be sure to check out the Urban Legends and Folklore site.

Good Karma...mantra to share

Compliments of the Dalai Lama

More people should embody his teachings...

1.Take into account that great love and achievement involve great risk.

2.When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3.Follow the three R's:
___Respect for self
___Respect for others
___Resposibility for all your actions

4.Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5.Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

6.When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate actions to correct it.

7.Spend some time alone every day.

8.Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

9.remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

10.Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and look back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

11.A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

12.In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the curreent situation. Don't bring up the past.

13.Share your knowledge-it's a way to achieve immortality.

14.Be gentle with the earth.

15.Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

16.Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for eachother exceeds your need for eachother.

17.Jugde your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

My Addition to this is really pretty simple:
Speaking from experience............I am a strong believer in the "Golden Rule"
If you treat people as you would hope to be treated, Karma will find it's way....ten fold.

Friday, December 09, 2005

I've come to realize I have an addiction......

They say that the first step to dealing with any problem is admitting that you have a problem.

So, this is my confession.......I have an my couch.

Some people may call it laziness, but I call it sweet sweet slumber. Now that the weather is cold, all I can think about is getting home to cuddle up in my down comforter with my puppies on my couch. I literally think about it all day when I'm at work. I just can't wait to get home every night.

When I walk in the living room, it's as if my couch is calling my name. It is so soft...oh I could just go on and on!!!

I think it's getting a little rediculous...I just can't get it out of my head. I love the nights when it's snowing outside and I know I don't have to even think about leaving my house. I just sit on my big comfy couch with the puppies and watch it all blow by.

It's 3:46 PM now....only seven hours and 14 minutes until I head back for my next fix!!!!!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

sad day..........

Today, December 8, 2005, marks the 25th anniversary of the death of a great man...Mr. John Lennon.

This world suffered a tremendous loss that day. Many of us have felt it very deeply since then.

Even at the tender age of only five, it had a huge impact on me. This was the first time I ever saw my Dad cry...something I will never forget.

After hearing the news, my dad came home and sat me down on the floor to tell me that he had been shot. Tough stuff for a kid to take in. I knew this man as the voice of one of my favorite songs at the time, which was Yellow Submarine. So, Dad and I sat there on the floor, and listened to Beatles albums crying together. It will be a sad day forever.

I'm fillin' up with SUPER!!!

Have any of you Kokomoans noticed that the unleaded gas at Casey's is usually more expenxive than the super unleaded?

I think I have been tricked a couple times!! You know, you just assume that the cheaper price on the big sign is for regular unleaded, so you pull up to that pump, fill 'er up, and go on your way. If I wouldn't have actually paid attention to the price on the pump itself, I would have continued to be tricked!!!

Anyway, the moral to the story is......go to Casey' can fill up on Super for the same price as regular anywhere else!!!

Friday, December 02, 2005

photos that caught my eye from Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving day in Washington Square in New orleans. Dinner was provided by volunteers.
An unidentified man takes a break from cleaning out his home in New Orleans on Thanksgiving day.
Troops in Iraq enjoy their feast.
People get into the Thanksgiving day spirit with some appropriate headgear while enjoying their day at Disneyland.
Reverand Maurice Chase takes time out of his day to pass out money to the less fortunate in Los Angeles on Thanksgiving Day.
Wow! someone else eats flan too!! Aunt Jan would appreciate this!!
Children catch a peek of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade from a window along Broadway.
two deer enjoy the snow of Thanksgiving in Ohio.
A soldier plays guitar while spending Thanksgiving away from home.
Ben Franklin is a bourbon red turkey enjoying his Thanksgiving dinner of mealworms...yummy!!!!

Sunday, November 27, 2005


I copied this article from a "picture of the week" e-mail that I get. I'm interested to hear what all of you have to say about this. I find it very intriguing, but I am also very skeptical......strange.....

Believers Flock to 'Crying' Virgin Mary
By JULIET WILLIAMS, Associated Press Writer Sat Nov 26,11:26 PM ET

SACRAMENTO, Calif. - Carrying rosary beads and cameras, the faithful have been coming in a steady stream to a church on the outskirts of Sacramento for a glimpse of what some are calling a miracle: A statue of the Virgin Mary they say has begun crying a substance that looks like blood.

It was first noticed more than a week ago, when a priest at the Vietnamese Catholic Martyrs Church spotted a stain on the statue's face and wiped it away. Before Mass on Nov. 20, people again noticed a reddish substance near the eyes of the white concrete statue outside the small church, said Ky Truong, 56, a parishioner.
Since then, Truong said he has been at the church day and night, so emotional he can't even work. He believes the tears are a sign.
"There's a big event in the future — earthquake, flood, a disease," Truong said. "We're very sad."

On Saturday, tables in front of the fenced-in statue were jammed with potted plants, bouquets of roses and candles. Some people prayed silently, while others sang hymns and hugged their children. An elderly woman in a wheelchair wept near the front of the crowd.
A red trail could be seen from the side of the statue's left eye to about halfway down the robe of concrete.

"I think that it's incredible. It's a miracle. Why is she doing it? Is it something bothering her?" asked Maria Vasquez, 35, who drove with her parents and three children from Stockton, about 50 miles south of Sacramento.

Thousands of such incidents are reported around the world each year, though many turn out to be hoaxes or natural phenomena.

The Diocese of Sacramento has so far not commented on the statue, and the two priests affiliated with the church did not return a telephone message Saturday.
The Rev. James Murphy, deacon of the diocese's mother church, the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament, said church leaders are always skeptical at first.

"For people individually seeing things through the eyes of faith, something like this can be meaningful. As for whether it is supernatural or a miracle, normally these incidences are not. Miracles are possible, of course," Murphy said. "The bishop is just waiting and seeing what happens. They will be moving very slowly."

But seeing the statue in person left no doubt for Martin Operario, 60, who drove about 100 miles from Hayward. He took photos to show to family and friends.
"I don't know how to express what I'm feeling," Operario said. "Since religion is the mother of believing, then I believe."

Nuns Anna Bui and Rosa Hoang, members of the Salesian Sisters of San Francisco, also made the trek Saturday. Whether the weeping statue is declared a miracle or not, they said, it is already doing good by awakening people to the faith and reminding them to pray.
"It's a call for us to change ourselves, to love one another," Hoang said.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Jerry Garcia Biopic

Ok, Oliver Stone pulled it off when he produced "The Doors" and cast Val Kilmer to play Jim Morrison, but I highly doubt that a 19 year old and his buddy can do Jerry Garcia justice when casting for his film.

There has been recent talk of making a biopic dedicated to the life of Jerry Garcia. Sounds like a good idea.....but, it is a very fragile subject in some people's eyes. Justin Berfield, 19, AKA Malcom's big brother from "Malcom in the Middle," will be prducing the movie. I also heard through one source that he would be playing Jerry's character in his younger years.

I have a very hard time believing that this is the right person for the job. First of all, I think that in order to really capture the true feeling of the time periods covered, there should be someone there that lived it. The true heart of the hippie lifestyle is hard to replicate accurately.

Justin and his partner have aquired the rights to two different books, one called "Captain Trips" and the other, "One More Saturday Night." The author of these books, Sandy Troy, had promised Jerry's family that he would wait until the 10th anniversary of Jerry's death to sell the rights to make a movie. Considering that it has only been three months since the anniversary, I don't think there was much time or thought into who would be in charge of this project. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think I'm safe to say that there were not years of planning, considering that Justin was only 9 years old when Jerry passed away.

This is a very touchy subject for me as well as many other deadheads and music lovers out there. Jerry was a genius, and had such a significant impact on this world, that I believe his life story should be handled with the utmost care. It will be a terrible shame if his life is portrayed from only the perspective of what a 19 year old can learn from a book. I realize there will be more to it than that, but without having lived some of the scene and witnessed it firsthand, I don't think they have the right person for the job. I am disappointed in Carolyn Garcia, as many fans are, for her continuous decisions that seem to be based on monetary factors, and not the deep meaning that this, and so many other things could have if handled correctly.

It will be hard to watch anyone on screen playing the role of the icon that we all know as Jerry Garcia. I hope that I will not be as disappointed as I think I will.

Maybe someone should call Oliver Stone....he always seems to do things right, or at least so they will have a huge impact on the viewers.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I have come to despise the radio more and more here lately. It helps remind me why I have spent so much of my hard earned money on my music collection.

Not only does the music generally suck, but the radio stations tend to flood themselves with completely annoying commercials such as the "MORE OVALTINE PLEASE" crap!!!

I will give 98.5 credit for airing the "Friday Night Floyd Fix" every Friday. They play a lot of b-sides and live shows. Once in ahwile, they'll pull out some pretty cool collaborations with Floyd and someone real off the wall. That is the only time I make the effort to listen anymore..............

I hate OVALTINE!!!!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Well, I've managed to snag a few pictures from one of the Halloween parties that Ryan and I went to. These were all taken at my friend Craig's house. He's the one with the kinda man :-) Anyway, I'll hopefully be able to get a few more pictures from the other places we stopped.

Friday, November 04, 2005

useless knowledge from an astrologer

go to

some pretty cool info on this site about the year you were born. YOu can see what the moon looked like the day of your birth....believe it or not, it wasn't a full moon on my birthday!!!
I love my job most days, but sometimes I lose sleep over it.

I can't give too many details due to the fact that I work in a medical facility, and that would be a violation of patient confidentiality. However, working in this area is sometimes difficult due to the type of trauma we deal with, or even witnessing the ER doctor telling someone that their family member has passed away.

Sometimes, our ER staff, or even myself, may be the last person that these people ever see or talk to. This is the type of thing that makes it hard to sleep at night. More than once, I know for a fact that I have been the last person to either witness the last conversation, or have the last conversation of someone's life. Knowing how I felt when I lost my dad, I know those are some of life's most precious moments. Also, you are left with no doubt about how everything actually happened. If I had not been at my dad's side, I would wonder forever. I have found peace in knowing how everything happened.

I feel almost guilty to have been at a certain place at a certain time, when I feel like it wasn't my place to be there. These people and their families are left with unanswered questions, and endless possibilites running through their minds. I just hope that I can provide some comfort and support to patients and families in need.

The last words of a few people, whom I never knew personally, will echo in my mind forever.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Fat in my finger

Well, while Jerry is at home nursing his wounds, I'm sitting here at work totally freaked out about the news I got about my own battle wounds.

I got bit in the middle of the scuffle yesterday...I don't think I mentioned that in yesterday's post. I got bit on my left middle finger by Jerry when I reached to grab him. I literally picked him up off the ground with my finger. When I realized that wasn't going to work, I frantically sat him back on the ground and stuck my other hand in his mouth to pry his jaws open. Much to my dismay, I got bit on my right middle finger as well. The part I'm freaking out about is the fact that I have a chunk of fat hanging out of my finger now. The ER doc said it's best to leave it alone because to stitch it up he would have to clip the fat off, and the area he would have to cut is too close to my nerves. He said it could cause nerve damage, and I would lose full mobility of my finger. AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

I'm on antibiotics now since it's such a big open wound. He was afraid it would get infected. I now have to check in with the ER every day for a week so they can watch it.

If I had a digital camera, I would grace my blog with some cool pictures of it. I have to say I enjoyed seeing the gruesome details of Andea's abscess in the pictures on her blog. I'm jealous!!!

I had no idea I had so much fat in my finger....I kinda wish I had this wound for my Halloween parties the other night. Some flesh hanging from any appendage is always appropriate at Halloween!!!!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Tired of loose dogs!!!

OK, as if my little Jerry has not had enough trauma in his life already.......

The poor little dog got attacked by a loose rotweiler in MY yard AGAIN today!!!! I'm so tired of this. It's official that this dog in particular has now had a taste of all three of my dogs. It better be dead when I get home tonight, because if it's not, I think Ryan will kill it himself.

Luckily, Jerry only suffered minor lacerations to his head and neck, but we still had to take him to the vet just incase. The way he was thrown around, I'm surprised his lungs didn't collapse. That was one of the main things they were worried about when I called Dr. Humphrey and told him what had happened.

I hope I can get the image of the fight out of my head tonight, otherwise, I don't think I'll be sleeping much. It was so horrible to see. Jerry's whole head was in Babe's mouth, and all I could see was his hind end flopping around like a little rag doll....I think iI screamed like I've never screamed before. My neighbor thought I was getting attacked at first.

I'm convinced that Jerry has at least nine lives.

Here's a list of the injuries sustained so far in his short six years in this world.

1. He got electricuted from chewing on a lamp cord when he was a puppy.

2. He got attacked by a rotweiler named Ozzy that is no longer with us...thank goodness.

3. He injured his back last fall and is now paralized and in a doggy wheelchair.

4. He has once again been attacked by a rotweiler, this one named Babe, who better not be with us much longer!!!

Friday, October 28, 2005

MARS-up close

Hey folks!!

Just a cool little tid bit of info to share with you. You have probably heard about this on the news, so ignore me if I'm repeating what you already know. I just think it's really cool.

Mars will be taking a pretty close trip past the earth this weekend. Well, pretty close in comparison to normal anyway. Apparently, it is normally about 140 million miles away from earth, and this weekend it will be about 43 million miles away. It was actually closer than this back in 2003, but it will not be this close again until the year 2018.

It's closest pass will happen at approximately 11:25 Saturday night. The article I read about it said that it will glow just above the horizon. To the naked eye, it will be much brighter than normal, but with a powerful telescope, you will actually be able to see the southern ice cap, and possibly some cloud formations.

The Hubble telescope will be taking some close ups over the next coulpe days.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Well, I don't think Ryan and I will ever top our Halloween costumes from last year (Adam and Eve with BIG bushes,) but I'm looking forward to getting dressed up again this weekend.

We've got several places to stop on Saturday, so we're just going to go party hoppin'. I'm always excited to see what kind of crazy things my friends come up with for Halloween. My friend America and her sister, Shannon, never cease to amaze me. Last year America and her husband dressed as aliens in homemade costumes. We gave them the "best dressed" prize at our party. Shannon was "Mommy Dearest." It was great, she ran around with a wire hanger all night smacking people around, but only if they asked for it :-) I actually have several pictures on a disc from last year's party. I'll have to see if I can find them so all of you will be able to better appreciate my enthusiasm.

Of course, the puppies all have costumes too. (I know it's a liitle rediculous.....don't care) Maggie will be a little witch, which is very fitting for her temperament. Jerry has an alien head to wear...he actually keeps it on...good boy!!! And last but not least, little Franklin is going to be a devil. Also very fitting for him. I call him a "little devil" all the time. I think he would probably respond quicker to that right now than his own name.

I will not disclose any information about my costume at this time, due to the fact that someone I might want to surprise could be reading this. It's not quite as revealing as last year's costume, but I will be much warmer. I'll be back next week with some details, and hopefully some photos.


Wednesday, October 26, 2005


Well, Ryan and I are officially in mourning.

Two of the members of our favorite band, Ekoostik Hookah, have quit to start a new band.

The new band is called One Under. ( ) We went to see them at the Lafayette Brewing Company at the end of September, and it was a great show. They are playing a very diverse span of music. They describe it as combining the roots of rock, American jazz, afro-Cuban Latin and pure groovy funk. That is a great description of what I have heard so far. They don't actually have any CDs released yet, but we have managed to pick up a couple shows on CD from some of our friends who record the shows live. The band has a fairly large following already, considering the short period of time they have been together. A lot of us are Hookah fans, of course, and heard of them through the other band, but they have received some very good reviews from local papers in Ohio which have helped catch some interest from other directions.

I have spoken to my friend Eric (the drummer from E.H.) once since the announcement of Johnny and Ed quitting. It sounds like there have been disagreements with the guys and management for some time now. The members that are still part of the band are actually all original members, so I hope that means they will continue to play together. Eric sounds a little unsure of the future of E.H. but says he will continue his musical career with them as long as they are still around.

I have been heartbroken since the announcement. It's amazing to me how much of an influence these guys have had on my life over the last couple of years. Their music is very inspirational in so many ways. They have always focused on being kind to one another and everyone around. They have been better to their fans than any other band I have ever known. Following them has become a way of life for myself and so many other people. A lot like the following of the Grateful Dead was. I am so thankful that the end of E.H. as I have known them did not happen due to the death of a band member or any other tragic event, for that matter. At least the guys are all still around and accessible, only in another ensemble now.

When Jerry Garcia died, there was no option for anyone to ever experience the things and feelings they experienced with the Grateful Dead. This is different, but still just as disheartening in a way.

I just hope I can keep track of these guys and continue to support them in all their future endeavors. Eric is the only one I talk to on a regular basis, but Ryan and I both consider these guys our friends. I will miss E.H. with all my heart and soul. I already do.

Friday, October 21, 2005







Thursday, October 20, 2005

Ever watched "Behind the Music?"

OK, so most of us have probably seen the show "Behind the Music" on VHI at least a time or two. I LOVE those shows!!!

Anyway, my friend sent me her idea of the five stages of Behind the Music....Here goes:

Stage 1: After a middle class upbringing, some people come together to form a band

Stage 2: Band finds its sound, plays for beer, gets some chicks, builds base, gains initial success, and possibly some STDs

Stage 3: Band experiences huge success, invests in huge pyrotechnics and lasers, then meets Kurt Loder

Stage 4: Band begins near fatal descent into hazy world of drugs, booze, sex, and bankruptcy. At this stage, there is a higher risk for tragedy (bandmember death or possibly the loss of limbs to maybe...the drummer for instance)

Stage 5: Band comes back from the brink...usually sober (so they say.) Redemption is nearly complete.

All I have to say is.....Thanks a lot!!! Now I'll never be able to watch the show ruined the ending!!!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

sax anyone??

Being the lover of music that I am, I have found myself exploring some unfamiliar paths lately. I've recently become very interested in anything with horns (especially saxophones).

I have picked up a few "Tower of Power" cds, thanks to the advice of my cousin, John. He's always a good one to turn to when I'm looking for something new. Also, I've been on a huge Maceo Parker kick. He's a phenonmenal sax player that used to play with James Brown. I've actually had the pleasure of seeing him live a couple times. Last time I saw him was about five years ago in Chicago. He was playing with Bela Fleck...another amazing artist. Anyone who appreciates the saxophone or any jazz would really appreciate Maceo Parker.

Stan Getz is another artist that has caught my attention recently. I came across an old album of his at home a while back, and decided to see what it was like. I fell in love instantly. I believe he plays the tenor has such a pure's very soothing. I wish I was more familiar with the famous sax players out there...looks like I have some research to do!!

Friday, October 07, 2005

stay off my blog!!!!!

OK, all you anonymous people who keep leaving me comments.....if you actually read this, I would appreciate it if you only leave comments that relate to what I've written, and DON'T try to get me to go to your little websites about sex toys, or whatever it is that you're soliciting....I'm tired of your comments!!!!!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Holy CRAP!!

HOLY CRAP.......I'M 30 NOW......HOLY CRAP!!!!!!

quick update

OK, it's 1:25 am....I got called into work, so I'm gonna make this quick. Ryan is at home with a zombie movie paused and waiting for me.

Anyway, I saw Michael Friday. Everything went well. We were in and out of the tattoo shop within about 10 minutes. We really didn't talk about much. It was actaully kind of good to see him. I felt better having seen him myself to make the judgement whether to believe him or not when he tells me he's sober now. There's still a little bit of me that is skeptical, but he did look good...he looked healthy. Healthier than he did while we were still together.

I'm going to the courthouse tomorrow to turn in the paperwork. Hopefully this is it!!!!!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Don't worry........

Don't worry guys....I'm not going to see Michael alone, and I'm meeting him at the tattoo shop. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that he'll be a perfect gentleman, but I'm not going to his house. I don't plan on staying long. My friend has to babysit for her nephew Friday evening, so we've got a schedule to keep.

I am a little nervous of how he will respond to seeing me. He is the king of manipulation. But, I have Ryan, and we have so much more, and are so much closer than Michael and I ever were. It seems strange that I'm still technically married. I felt alone for so long even while Michael and I were still together. In all reality, I feel more for Ryan in only about a year than I ever felt for Michael in the ten years we were together.

Anyway, I don't want anyone to worry. If Michael would hurt me in any way, it would be emotionally...not physically, and I've learned how to deal with the emotions pretty well over the years with him. I'm a pretty tough cookie, you know?

Monday, September 26, 2005

wish me luck!!!

Well, now that I have gotten some things taken care of at home, I'm ready to take care of some other business.

This Friday I will be driving down to Indy to pick up the last of my divorce papers from Michael. I've been waiting for him to send them back to me for almost six months. (he never was the most motivated person I've known) I've called him nearly every day for the last month hounding him about this. It's a little rediculous that it's taken us a year and a half to get through a "non-contested" divorce. He has told me over and over again that he would mail the paperwork to me, and time and time again, I've checked my mail to find nothing other than the typical junk and divorce papers. So, I decided enough is enough, and when he told me today that they'd be in the mail tomorrow, I told him to keep them and I would be down on Friday to get them in person.

It will be strange to see him after all this time. In a way, I'm a little anxious to see him. Mainly to see if I believe him when he says he's off drugs. He sounds good on the phone, but I sat right next to him at his worst, and heard him sound very good on the phone to others. Until I see him myself, I won't believe it. For his sake, I hope he is telling me the truth. I wish him nothing but good days for his future. So it will be interesting.

It has been almost two years since he moved out, and about 19 months since we've seen eachother. In some ways, it feels like it was a completely different lifetime. But, then again, it's also hard to believe he's been gone that long.

You know, they DO say that time flies when you're having fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, September 25, 2005

so fresh and so clean clean!!!!!

Oh yes!!!
It's official......I have water!!!!
It's amazing to me that it took less than a week for the church to collect ALL the money for my water AND get it fixed. My yard is a huge swamp now, but it's a small price to pay to be able to shower in my own home again.
I am so thankful to have so many people looking out for me. I like to think I don't need anyone to take care of me, but I can't deny that it has taken a huge weight off my shoulders to have this taken care of.
The only thing I'm afraid of now, is becoming obsessive compulsive about washing my hands, brushing my teeth, flushing the toilet........basically anything that has to do with water. I'm surprised my gums aren't bleeding yet!!!!

I feel so fresh and so clean clean!!!!!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Do YOU have a song that gives you chills?

Have you ever heard a song that hits so close to home that it gives you chills every time you hear it?

Here are a few lyrics from a song by Ekoostik Hookah called "Another You." It really gets to me every time I hear it because I've had the same thoughts myself after everything I've gone through with my ex-husband. Now I'm with someone who treats me like gold.

I said "I don't deserve your anger,"
she said I don't deserve her love,
I said "I'll give you everything,"
she said that wouldn't be enough.

It's been six years since I've seen her,
at least a thousand miles between,
and my new lady's just as kind to me
as the old one was ever mean.

And I don't care that she's gone
and if I ever see her face,
I'll say "I can't believe I begged for you,
you know it seems like such a waste."

But then she did get one thing right,
there was only one thing left to do.
So now here I am,
a different man,
in another time, another place,
with another you.

That's only a few verses of the song, but you get the general idea.....

The Crow

As I was sitting flipping through channels, frustrated at all the crap on TV these days, I came across a great movie I hadn't seen in awhile. It was "The Crow" with Brandon Lee. What a great movie!!! It's a little creepy, so for some of my family who are faint hearted, I wouldn't recommend it.

I've always been a little intrigued by the movie becuase it's kind of dark, but also due to the fact that Brandon died while filming it. If I remember right, he was shot by a real bullet in a scene where he was being shot at, and obviously, the cast was supposed to be using blanks. The fact that this happened, gives the whole movie a different feel, knowing what went on.

Anyway, it's nice to actually find something worth watching on TV once in awhile.

FYI: The Crow soundtrack is great!!!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

music pick for today........

For the last few days, I have been hooked on Van Morrison. I don't think my Moondance CD has left my car stereo for about a week. Although my favorite Van Morrison song (Brown Eyed Girl) isn't on this disc, it has some other great tunes like "Into the Mystic" and "These Dreams of You."

Another CD that has caught my attention is Paul Mccartney's new release, called "Chaos and Creation in the Backyard." I haven't heard the whole thing, but I saw a documentary about the recording sessions that was very good. Paul Mccartney is creditied with playing several of the instruments throughout the album. Some that I can actually remember are the drums, guitar, bass, keyboards, block flute, and something called the harmonium. I have no idea what that is, but I thought a lot more of the album when I heard that he had done that. The music is pretty basic, but Paul had a few songs with some great lyrics. I don't own it yet, but I will soon.

Last, for today, anyone who likes the blues, and/or Aerosmith, should check out their CD called "Honkin' on Bobo." It is an album that was released a year or two ago, but I just recently found it. It is mainly covers of old blues songs. A couple of the songs that I liked were "Shame, Shame, Shame" and "Eyesight to the Blind."

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


Well, once again, things are falling into place for good ol' Alli.

I just got the most humbling message from a good friend of mine yesterday. Apparently, my friends and nieghbors in West Middleton are getting together with West Middleton United Methodist Church to help me out with all the water problems I have had at my home. Some of you may not have realized that I have been without water for nearly six months now. My neighbors, on the other hand, are very aware, because it's usually their doors I'm knocking on to refill my jugs. It has been a huge struggle trying to save any extra money. My credit was ruined when Michael got ahold of my money, and I have to admit, I didn't always make the best financial decisions in the past. So, it has been one denial after another trynig to get loans, refinancing on my house, or any other assistance for that matter. I have had some very generous people (you know who you are) that have donated to the "Well Fund," and I thank you with all my heart.

When I got the news about the help they're providing, I almost cried......I don't cry. (It's called Lexapro) Most people would look at me and say I was crazy, or irresponsible maybe, for not being able to take care of this myself. I'm a grown woman (I don't feel like it sometimes,) I have a decent job, and in my opinion, I should be able to do this on my own. But, I tend to be a little stubborn, and I like to learn the hard way....I have definitely learned the hard way how NOT to handle my money. If it weren't for Ryan providing me with concert tickets and gas money for the shows all summer, I would have rotted away in my own little drought and misery. (Thank you, Honey, for keeping me sane this summer, and giving me an escape!!!)

Anyway, I just felt the need to let everyone know how thankful I am to have such loving and caring people surrounding me. I may not be wealthy in the monetary sense, but right now I feel like the most wealthy woman in the world!!!!

Thursday, September 08, 2005


Well, here I am, back at work, still recuperating from Hookahville, which was this past weekend.

I threw in a couple photos of two of my favorite guys. Eric, here to the left is the one I call my "Buddy." I had such a great time watching him, and talking with him after the show. I got a pretty cool picture of us on his shoulders. I was so excited. Too bad I don't have a digital camera to share it with all of you.

Johnny, up there with the bongo drums, is another band member who I always try to chit chat with if possible. He always has this glow to him. Especially now, since he just got married a couple weeks ago....Congrats Johnny!!!

I was a little fearful of facing bad weather after all the hurricaine remnants rolling through, but the weekend turned out to be beautiful. Ryan and I were both very thankful for the perfect weekend we had. I do have to admit, however, my butt and legs hurt SOOOOOO bad from walking and dancing, and just being silly.

I actually hopped into a hoola hoop, which I haven't done in years. I think it would be a great form of exercise, so I'm considering it. Plus, I just didn't like being shown up by these little 10 year olds who can hoola for hours on end.

That's one of the great things about Hookahville. There are so many families there. The kids have plenty to do, and there are NEVER any hassells with the crowd. It's just not like that. I don't know of many places you can go with thousands of people, and so little security, and not have problems. The band makes their opinions very clear on making it a family friendly environment.

The shows were great, of course!! There were several bands there that I was not real familiar with, but I'm always up for something new. One band I really enjoyed was called the Hackensaw Boys. They were mostly bluegrass...with a little rock mixed in. I was very excited to have the chance to see Little Feat. They've been rocking out for decades. In fact, my dad saw them back in the late seventies, and I have an original poster from one of their shows in a small venue in New York from when my dad lived there. We also got to see Donna and the Buffalo, and DJ logic. So, as you can see, they try to get a good mixture of different music genres all's a great setup.

Ekoostik Hookah rocked both nights!!! I was so excited to hear my man Eric sing a couple songs. I make him blush when I tell him how much I love to hear him sing. Isn't that funny...this hard core biker, drummer, still gets a little self cute. (He'd probably kill me for saying he's "cute") Cliff pulled off a great cover of "These Dreams of You" by Van Morrison, who is one of my favorites. So, I was glad to hear that.

Of course, just as always, Eric sang the last song of the last set. He always does the finale. I look forward to that every year, but it's also a little bitter sweet knowing that the night is coming to an end. The finale is the only time he steps away from the drums, so, of course, I'm always right up front. I just can't get enough of that guy!!

My next plan is to e-mail him again, and stroke his ego a little about him singing. He DID tell me that we will definitely keep in touch while the band is taking their break this winter. He even mentioned coming to Ohio to check out some cool hangouts. Ryan will be along for the ride of course. Ryan is still number one, but he's all for us hanging out with the band, so I'm all over it!!!!

When I have more time, and my memory is refreshed a little, I'll write more details about the show.

Until then.............everyone take care.............and SMILE!!!!!

music pick for today

I recently picked up the new Willie Nelson album. It's his first reggae album...yep, Willie's gone reggae on us. In all actuality, it's still Willie, with a few reggae beats and some different instruments. I have to say, I think it's a great pick.

I've also recently become very fond of my Weir Here disc, by Bob Weir. I've had it for several months, and just pulled it out and dusted it off a few days ago on the roadie to Ohio. Everyone should listen to Bob when he says "Women are Smarter" he's a very smart man!! That's my favorite quote right now. I'm probably safe to say that Ryan is tired of hearing it.

However, that's what he gets for quoting one of his favorites albums right now that says "being handsome means never having to you're sorry" Sorry, Baby, I don't think so!!!!

Last, but definitely not least, I picked up a double disc of the band called "One Under," consisting of a couple members from Ekoostik Hookah. Great album...a must have.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

congrats Cuz!!!

I just found out my cousin Sarah is pregnant again!!! I'm so happy for her and Craig!! That little baby is so lucky to have a big brother like Ari. They will be about two years apart...good timing Cuz!!! I love you guys and I am so happy for you!!!

Wednesday, August 31, 2005


I've been wonering something for a long time.....

Why don't we just throw the letter "c" out of the alphabet? It either sounds like a "k" or an "s," so what's the point of having it around? It needs to get its own sound or just get out of our way.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

so sad...........

I am so sad.

I just read an announcement on Ekoostik Hookah's website saying that they are taking a break touring this winter. They promised to return next spring, but I was really looking forward to another season of following them.

I believe that they will be back. They have such a great chemistry with one another, and they know that. I guess maybe I'm just being selfish. The percussionist, Johnny, just got married last weekend. Dave, the keyboardist just had a baby this past spring, and I know that Steve, the lead guitarist, has a serious girlfriend. So, in all honesty, if I were in their shoes, I may be ready for a little time to myself as well.

They have toured throughout the year, for the last 13 years. Plus, everyone except for my buddy Eric (the drummer) has side projects that they are always working on. They squeeze in as many shows with their other bands as they can between the Hookah shows. I can't imagine having that kind of schedule. I think I've got it rough working 40 hours a week in a hospital I live six miles from. I probably would have taken a break a long time ago.

I'm just a little worried that this will be the beginning of the end of E.H. Their message to their fans was fairly reassuring, but they have been a huge part of my life for awhile now, and I don't want to lose that. I think Eric and I will keep in touch, so hopefully I will know all the details soon.

Ryan and I are going to Hookahville this weekend, so I will definitely be asking a lot of questions when I see them. I'm really excited for the show, and plan to make the best of it while they're still touring this fall.

I'll write again after Hookahville with plenty of good stories, I'm sure.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Attics of My Life

Attics of My Life

In the attics of my life, full of cloudy dreams unreal,
Full of tastes no tongue can know, and lights no eye can see,
When there was no ear to hear, you sang to me.

I have spent my life seeking all that's still unsung,
Bent my ear to hear the tune, and closed my eyes to see,
When there were no strings to play, you played to me.

In the book of love's own dream, where all the print is blood,
Where all the pages are my days, and all the lights grow old,
When I had no wings to fly, you flew to me, you flew to me.

In the secret space of dreams, where I dreaming lay amazed,
When the secrets all are told, and the petals all unfold,
When there was no dream of mine, you dreamed of me.

I hope each and every person who reads this can relate these words to someone special in their lives. I have finally found him.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

on the road to recovery...and Columbus!!!!

Wow, what a week!!! I have been so sick. I honestly don't remember being this sick since I was a child. I literally wanted to cry a couple of times. So much for that "tough as nails" description I've been given...thanks Brian!!

Anyway, my baby took good care of me. Waited on me hand and foot. I never had to ask for a thing. It's nice to have someone who cares. Unlike the my last beau who left me alone in the ER with no ride home and no ability to drive after way too much morphine for this little body. My family will remember that, I'm sure!!!

I regret to inform everyone that neither myself, nor Ryan made the sky diving trip this past weekend. We decided we'd rather go together. I will be sure to write about our adventures as soon as I can.

Tomorrow, Ryan and I are heading to Columbus, Ohio to see a couple of the guys from Ekoostik Hookah. Steve and Cliff are having a reunion show with their old band called "Supplication." I've never heard their music, but I'm always up for something new. I know I can't go wrong with these guys!!!

Next weekend, is the big Hookahville show...I can't wait!!! I'm sure I'll have plenty to tell when I get back from that trip. I'm excited to see the guys again. I actaully got an e-mail from the drummer, Eric a couple of days ago. I am like a kid in a candy store....In seventh heaven....I can't believe he actually wrote to me!!! I feel honored. Maybe he just likes my tattoos...who knows....I'll keep everyone updated!!!!!

Thursday, August 18, 2005


Well, due to some financial issues, the sky diving trip is going to be put on hold. I'm so bummed out, but I intend on fulfilling this goal soon. I just have to get a few priorities straight first.

Ryan will still be going, and of course I will be there to watch. One of these days, we'll be jumping together. Until then, I'll keep my eyes on the sky!!!!

I'll let everyone know how it goes with Ryan this weekend.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

quick update

This entry is regarding an issue that needed to be resolved a long time ago at the hospital where I work. If you refer back to my entry entitled "I'll Kill Her with Kindness," you may recall a very vocal co-worker of mine. Let's just call her the trouble-maker.

Well, the trouble-maker, is no longer employed with us!!!!! Everyone in the department can finally rest easy now, knowing that we don't have to deal with her ever again. I don't wish any harm on anyone, ever, but I do believe in karma and the fact that things you say and do in your lifetime will come back to haunt you. She was let go from her position due to attendance problems, mainly. However, there were several other factors taken into consideration. She has had multiple complaints from co-workers, patients, and the doctors we work for, regarding her poor attitude, her inability to get along with others, and her unwillingness to help out in extra areas when asked.

All I can say is, it's a blessing to our department, which is full of outstanding people who ALL go above and beyond their call of duty. It is absolutely amazing to me how one person is capable of dragging an entire department down. The moral here has been so low for so long, and now I feel like that will be turning around very soon. It's very sad that it took someone losing their job to make everything better here. However, that is a very unanimous feeling.

So, I wish her the best in her future ventures. I truely hope she will learn something from this.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

nothing exciting

Well, I haven't done anything too exciting lately, but after next weekend, I think I'll have a different story to tell.

Ryan and I are going to go sky-diving for his birthday. I am so excited!!! We are both going tandum, which means you are strapped underneath someone who controls the chute and everything. Basically, you're just along to enjoy the ride. This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, and couldn't find anyone as crazy as me to go along. Ryan, on the other hand, he'll do just about anything, so this was not a difficult decision for him at all.

I love it that we do so many things together. I think we have done more in the last year together than I ever did with my ex-husband, who I was with for about eight years. It's almost hard to find time for work with everything we've got planned in the next few months. I just LOVE this guy!!!

So, wish me luck. Hopefully I won't need it.

I'll keep everyone informed on my adventures!!!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Sharing Memories of my Father

Last week, August 3rd, marked the seven year anniversary of my Dad's death.

Wow!!! I can't believe it's been that long. In some ways, the time has flown, but then again, it seems to have been more than a whole lifetime since I had my Dad around.

I have to say, I have managed to keep myself afloat a little better than I thought I would without his guidance. Even though he is not with me in the physical sense, my Dad is always with me in my heart. Absolutely every important decision I make, I still consider how my Dad would feel.

When my Dad found out he was sick, we started discussing his final wishes. He wanted to be cremated and have his ashes scattered out at Adam's Mill Covered Bridge. That's exactly what we did. Now instead of going to visit Dad in a cemetary, I get to go out to a beautifully restored mill and covered bridge. It's so peaceful there. I never once have felt sad or solemn when I go there. Just like my Dad, I am a lover of the outdoors and nature. I think he knew it would be easier on me if his remains were in a peaceful setting. The pictures above show the bridge in the condition it was in when Dad passed away (1998), and then, in 1999, after the bridge was renovated.

On the anniversary of his death, I always go to Adam's Mill and take the tops from daisies or carnations and throw them into the creek. It is so nice to watch them float downstream knowing that they're following the same path as my father.

Even though my love, Ryan, never had the chance to meet my Dad, he has made a tremendous effort to get to know everything possible about him. I know that my Dad would be thrilled to know that I have someone so loving and caring in my life. Ryan knows how important my relationship with my Dad was, and jumps at the chance to learn about him. I am so thankful to have someone who is involved in everything he knows is important to me.

On August 3rd, Ryan and I went to Adam's Mill. It was the first time I have ever taken anyone with me besides my mother. He was so compassionate, and so tender with every word. We took my puppy, Franklin, and had a little picnic together. I felt so close to the two most important men in my life that day. It was very serene.

I love sharing memories of my Dad with Ryan.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

good ol' much music, so little time

Last night after getting home from an insanely busy night at work, I was on a search for something to help me relax. Just something simple to enjoy and forget about my day. I found it when I decided to take a gander at my old vinyl collection. What a journey that turned out to be!!

I spent hours searching through albums, ending the evening without enough time to even listen to any of them. As I began my search, I saught out The White Album first. I needed to know it was still OK. Kind of like a long lost love. I was satisfied with its condition and can't wait to get home to listen to it. I've listened to that album all my life...what great memories it carries with it!! I am fortunate enough to have several Beatles albums, even some that were never released in the U.S. I have my dad to thank for that.

It was exciting to find some things I had forgotten I owned. I have to credit my father with a good majority of the collection. Although I do tend to spend way too much time and money searching for vinyl at antique shops, garage sales, etc. It's amazing to me some of the treasures I have found for maybe a quarter or less. So many people don't care, or maybe don't know the value of what they have.

So, tonight, I have plans to spend some quality time with myself and my turntable. I love the old crackle behind all those great songs. My plans for tonight include a pretty wide range of music. I'll be pulling out some Led Zeppelin, of course. I'm ready for No Quarter and the Rain Song...just a couple of my favorites. I also came across The Who-Tommy....YES!!!!! What a great album...Thank you Pete Townsend!!!

I got a good laugh when I found an old Cheech and Chong record. That should prove to be pretty entertaining. Also on the list for tonight will be some Curtis Mayfield and Eric Burdon. Both are musicians I haven't listened to in a great while. I came across a couple Deep Purple albums that I'm not real familiar with, so I'm anxious to hear what they have to offer.

I have so many more albums to go through. It's been so long since I've taken the time to enjoy them. It's such a great way to reminisce. My father was a huge fan of music, and music has always had a tremendous influence in my life. It is always a great escape for me. In good times and bad, music has always been there for me. That's more than I can say for most things in my life.

So, tonight, I plan on going home and finding my "quiet place" within while listening to the crakle of my old turntable. I only wish I had more time. Falling asleep to some Miles Davis is the plan to end my evening.

So much music, so little time.........

Monday, July 25, 2005

A little jealous of may not understand

OK, I've heard enough about Sandra Bullock marrying Jesse James!!!

Give the poor girl a break. Just because she normally does pretty lame chick flicks, doesn't mean she's too good for a tattooed, rough housing, bike mechanic.

Personally, I think Jesse James is a pretty good catch!! I could see myself rubbing those nicely cut, tattooed arms...and,well, we'll just leave it at that!! Plus, I bet that little beauty looks pretty hot on the back of his chopper!! I guess you could say maybe I'm a little jealous of Jesse too!!!

I say way to go Sandy!!!!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

quotes from musicians.....

Just searching for something interesting & came across a website of quotes by musicians. These are just a few that caught my attention. There are thousands to read at You might find some of them very interesting....

**"Most people wouldn't know good music if it came up and bit them in the ass"----Frank Zappa

**"It's better to burn out than fade away"---Neil Young

**"I'm shopping for something no one else will like"----Jerry Garcia

**"You do not merely want to be considered just the best of the best. You want to be considered the only ones who do what you do"----Jerry Garcia

**"Who is the strongest, who is the best, who holds the aces, the East or the West. This is the crap our children are learning"----Roger Waters

**"The piano has been drinking, not me"----Tom Waits

**"Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them."----Bob Dylan

**"Life is what happens when you're busy making plans."----John Lennon

**"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdon is better than silver or gold."----Bob Marley

**"Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes this is what awakens us"----Steven Tyler

**"Life's a journey, not a destination"----Steven Tyler

**"Music is forever; music should grow and mature with you, following you right on up until you die"----Paul Simon

Friday, July 22, 2005

good wine, Black Crowes, and Tom Petty

Well, I just got back from a nice little getaway. Ryan took me on little surprise outing on "The Winery Tour" of southern Indiana. We hit seven different wineries in southern Indiana in two days. It was a beautiful trip.

As we left Kokomo on Wednesday, I had no idea where we were going. All I knew was that I wouldn't be coming home that night. Ryan, knowing that I'm a big wine buff, decided that this would be something fun, and romantic to get me away for a couple days. What a sweetheart!!!

I also love to drive, especially in southern Indiana, where we actually have some beautiful land. The rolling hills, the Ohio River, the natural forests, and the caverns in this area have always been areas I love to explore. Driving, along with some good music, is the perfect form of entertainment to me. I have to say, I didn't miss the flatlands of Kokomo much at all.

The Oliver Winery (piture above) was the first we hit, and by far the most touristy. There was a lot to do and see there. The grounds were beautiful. They had georgeous gardens and waterfalls. There was a huge lake with picnic areas all around. It was perfect for being outside, enjoying the beautiful weather, and just sitting back with no worries. I believe that an environment like that and all that fresh air is good therapy for anyone. I felt great when we left there. (I'm sure the wine had something to do with that)

Some of the other wineries were not quite as elaborate, but the wine would have never given that impression. I think my favorite was the Winzerwald Winery. It is placed in the middle o the "Hoosier National Forest" so, of course, it was beautiful. They specialize in mostly German wines, which I was not very familiar with, but my palate was very pleased!!! I definitely spent more money than planned in there :-)

To end my week of fun, I went to the Tom Petty and Black Crowes concert last night. I think we headed to Nobleville underneath the rembrants of the hurricanes. The storms held off most of the night. Chris Robinson blew me away. I love that scratchy voice of his!!! That man kicked some ass on some blues and played some pretty mean harmonica for the crowd. It threw a lot of energy out to all of us braving the storm!

When Tom Petty came out, the skies kept getting darker. That didn't stop any of us though!! We just kept drinking and shaking our asses. We weren't going to let a little rain get us down. Before the rain actually started, we were all in awe over the spectacular lightning show overhead. It was absolutely beautiful!! However, the beauty was short lived. We tried to stay dry under our three dollar panchos as long as we could, but when the rain actually started to hurt, we decided it was time to go.

I think we made it through the majority of the show, but I guess I need to find someone that braved the whole thing to find out for sure.

Once again, good times were had by all...........

Monday, July 18, 2005


I've learned a lot about how and why we dream what we dream over the last couple of years. We dream in the form of metaphor. The majority of our dreams are not about the actual object, situation, or circumstance that is actually in the dream.

Lately, I've noticed a pattern in my own dreams. I continue to have dreams that don't turn out how I would expect them to. Some seem to contain a lot of unfulfilled expectations. I'm having a hard time figuring this pattern out. I can normally relate the metaphor pretty easily to things happening in my life. Right now, I'm perplexed because I'm not sure what my mind is trying to tell me. I've definitely had unfulfilled expectations in my life. My mother not being around when I was young, my father dying when I was only 22, my failed marraige. But, I feel that my life is very fulfilling now. I don't feel empty or lost like I've felt for so many years of my life. That is why I'm confused. I feel like I'm at a point in my life when this shouldn't be a concern any longer. Somewhere deep in my subconscious, I still have some things to work through. I also worry that something in my life is not going to turn out how I expect it to. As long as this has nothing to do with my current relationship, I'm ready for the surprise!

I also have had several dreams over the last few months about an old house, a very creepy old house. It actaully reminds me of a place where I saw a concert back in December. After visiting "The Southgate House" I have had recurring dreams about it. (I included a picture above) Sometimes the dream is not specific to the Southgate House, but what I'm dreaming will remind me of this house. It is an old home in Newport, KY that has been converted into a bar and music venue. There is a lot of intersting, but dark history surrounding this house. I have been almost obsessive about it ever since I stepped foot inside. I have researched the house and some of the families that have lived there trying to find an answer to my obsession. The one thing that the house is well known for is the fact that the first "Tommy gun" was invented (or built) there. Yes, dark history. There is a lot of Mafia history there as well.

It was so strange when I first saw the house. Somehow, it seemed very familiar to me. I even knew where things were in the house before ever stepping foot inside. ( If my family reads this, they will probably think I'm crazy!!) My heart was racing as we walked in. I was not scared or nervous. I just had a very strange feeling going in there. I just wish I could find some answers to why it is in my head so often. Pretty wierd, huh?