Monday, July 18, 2005

dreams.....



I've learned a lot about how and why we dream what we dream over the last couple of years. We dream in the form of metaphor. The majority of our dreams are not about the actual object, situation, or circumstance that is actually in the dream.

Lately, I've noticed a pattern in my own dreams. I continue to have dreams that don't turn out how I would expect them to. Some seem to contain a lot of unfulfilled expectations. I'm having a hard time figuring this pattern out. I can normally relate the metaphor pretty easily to things happening in my life. Right now, I'm perplexed because I'm not sure what my mind is trying to tell me. I've definitely had unfulfilled expectations in my life. My mother not being around when I was young, my father dying when I was only 22, my failed marraige. But, I feel that my life is very fulfilling now. I don't feel empty or lost like I've felt for so many years of my life. That is why I'm confused. I feel like I'm at a point in my life when this shouldn't be a concern any longer. Somewhere deep in my subconscious, I still have some things to work through. I also worry that something in my life is not going to turn out how I expect it to. As long as this has nothing to do with my current relationship, I'm ready for the surprise!

I also have had several dreams over the last few months about an old house, a very creepy old house. It actaully reminds me of a place where I saw a concert back in December. After visiting "The Southgate House" I have had recurring dreams about it. (I included a picture above) Sometimes the dream is not specific to the Southgate House, but what I'm dreaming will remind me of this house. It is an old home in Newport, KY that has been converted into a bar and music venue. There is a lot of intersting, but dark history surrounding this house. I have been almost obsessive about it ever since I stepped foot inside. I have researched the house and some of the families that have lived there trying to find an answer to my obsession. The one thing that the house is well known for is the fact that the first "Tommy gun" was invented (or built) there. Yes, dark history. There is a lot of Mafia history there as well.

It was so strange when I first saw the house. Somehow, it seemed very familiar to me. I even knew where things were in the house before ever stepping foot inside. ( If my family reads this, they will probably think I'm crazy!!) My heart was racing as we walked in. I was not scared or nervous. I just had a very strange feeling going in there. I just wish I could find some answers to why it is in my head so often. Pretty wierd, huh?

3 comments:

CM said...

Nicely written piece. Your blog is now officially no longer lame (I was only kidding anyway). I just saw an ancient movie called "The Old Dark House" and this story reminds me of it.

Saw Les Claypool at the Vogue last night. Great show. Ya shoulda been there.

Rosie said...

I think the house represents your house and what things you have to do to fix it.

Or once in another life you were a mobster's woman and that is why you weren't afraid to walk around that house and know where everything was.

Try to find pictures of the people that lived there or talk to the owner right now and ask them if they know of anyone that is still around and maybe they can give you closure.

Andrea said...

Hey Alli-Gal! I've been thinking about this entry in your blog. I don't know why you're dreaming about the house or why you felt connected to it - aren't I a bunch of help!! :)

Here's what keeps coming to my mind when I think about this. You said your dreams don't turn out how you expect them to and sometimes life follows along that same path. Personally, it took me a long time to appreciate that life isn't planned or as we sometimes expect it to be.

The exciting part of life is all the stuff we can't control. We can anticipate, think about, analyze (etc.) all kinds of stuff but whatever was going to happen will probably happen anyway.

So, what I learned is to enjoy the ride! Expect to be happily surprised and expect to be disappointed now and then too but most of all, if you take life as it comes - not putting too much thought into which turn to make next or what could or could not happen - you'll live a really happy life. Embrace life's craziness - because life will be crazy anyway whether you embrace it or not.