Monday, November 12, 2007

Best of Craigslist

Have any of you ever checked out the website Craigs list? It is probably one of the most hilarious things out there for random entertainment.

It's kind of like a big online classified ad with anything and everything to offer. There are plenty of things I would never even consider posting here, but you can always check it out at: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/ .

Here is a short disclaimer that you will find when first visiting the best of craigslist. However, even if you're not 18, you are safe to read what I have posted :-)

"Before perusing best-of-craigslist postings below please note:
postings are nominated by craigslist readers, and are not necessarily endorsed by craigslist staff.
-postings may be explicitly sexual, scatalogical, offensive, graphic, tasteless, and/or not funny
-if you see copyrighted material not original to craigslist, please let us know and we'll remove it.
-if you are under age 18, please use your 'back' button and seek parental guidance
-by continuing you acknowledge being 18 or older and release craigslist from any liability arising from your use of best-of-craigslist "

And now..... a few of my favorite listing's on the Best-of list at the moment................

----Butt Kicking Machine:
I am looking for candidates to try out my new invention for a carnival. I need people with a good strong butt. Duties involve sustained blows to the rear by different brands of shoes attached to a rotating ferris wheel device. This job is not for people that have hemmroids or any other ailments of that nature. Must be able to pass background, have a clean/ perfect DMV and pass a drug test from hair samples. Basically im like any other company I want that perfect person for a job that any ass can do. Oh and If you need any remodeling done I have 10+ years experience and my own tools.

---- Basic Instinct Video:
Need to get this out of my life. I think it works fine. I turned it off when Michael Douglas had sex - it made me celibate for a while. Note: if you take this, I will judge you.


----Hi... If your name is Roy, Troy or LeRoy...
I WANT YOU! I was with a Roy before (please see photo) and it didn't last as long as my tattoo. Who knew? Getting the tattoo removed is not something I want to do, plus I'm so accustomed to bellowing it (Roy) out in bed. What can I say, I'm a creature of habit. If your name isn't Roy, or even a variation, but you can somehow find a way to incorporate it into my tattoo, I'm open to suggestions. About me: I'm 27, 5'4", 115 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, freckles and looking for love (and a way to keep my tattoo). Thanks fellas, Dynah
----Potato Cannon:
It's 8ft long. My neighbors figured out what was happening so I need to get rid of it today.

----To The Stoner Who Works At Cottage Inn Pizza:
You: the guy who answers the phone at cottage inn pizza
Me: Hungry and stoned out of my gourd

I called you from my cell phone but had completely forgot who I was calling by the time you answered the phone.
Of course, you were also baked to bajeezus and forgot to tell me that I had called Cottage Inn. When you answered and said, “Whatsup?” I thought about it, and after a 20 second pause I told you that was hungry.
You suggested I try a pizza, and I agreed that it was probably a good idea.
Then I asked you if you sold pizza and you said that you could make me one. I said I wanted anchovies and something else on my pizza.
You asked me what that something else was. We spent five minutes listing toppings until we figured out that I was trying to remember how to say: “Sun dried Tomatoes.”
When you said: “We'll bake that right up for you,” we both started laughing uncontrollably.
It was the best pizza I ever had; I just wanted to thank you for helping me out.

And, last but not least.......my all time favorite......

----Free Air Guitar:left handed vintage air guitar for free all thats needed is new strings and a good dusting.

3 comments:

s-hooks said...

Yes, I love the best of Craigslist. I suggested one once, but I haven't seen it on there. I could spend all day reading those things!! Love the air guitar!

KellyAnn said...

heehee, and I love the new look of your blog by the way

Olive_12 said...

Butt Kicking Machine: Um....You mind if I borrow that?

Roy Girl: Just get it removed, you twit.

Stoner: =D That was funneh!

Air Guitar: Shaveet, man! That's freakin' funny too.