Have any of you ever checked out the website Craigs list? It is probably one of the most hilarious things out there for random entertainment.
It's kind of like a big online classified ad with anything and everything to offer. There are plenty of things I would never even consider posting here, but you can always check it out at: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/ .
Here is a short disclaimer that you will find when first visiting the best of craigslist. However, even if you're not 18, you are safe to read what I have posted :-)
"Before perusing best-of-craigslist postings below please note:
postings are nominated by craigslist readers, and are not necessarily endorsed by craigslist staff.
-postings may be explicitly sexual, scatalogical, offensive, graphic, tasteless, and/or not funny
-if you see copyrighted material not original to craigslist, please let us know and we'll remove it.
-if you are under age 18, please use your 'back' button and seek parental guidance
-by continuing you acknowledge being 18 or older and release craigslist from any liability arising from your use of best-of-craigslist "
And now..... a few of my favorite listing's on the Best-of list at the moment................
----Butt Kicking Machine:
I am looking for candidates to try out my new invention for a carnival. I need people with a good strong butt. Duties involve sustained blows to the rear by different brands of shoes attached to a rotating ferris wheel device. This job is not for people that have hemmroids or any other ailments of that nature. Must be able to pass background, have a clean/ perfect DMV and pass a drug test from hair samples. Basically im like any other company I want that perfect person for a job that any ass can do. Oh and If you need any remodeling done I have 10+ years experience and my own tools.
---- Basic Instinct Video:
Need to get this out of my life. I think it works fine. I turned it off when Michael Douglas had sex - it made me celibate for a while. Note: if you take this, I will judge you.
----Hi... If your name is Roy, Troy or LeRoy...
I WANT YOU! I was with a Roy before (please see photo) and it didn't last as long as my tattoo. Who knew? Getting the tattoo removed is not something I want to do, plus I'm so accustomed to bellowing it (Roy) out in bed. What can I say, I'm a creature of habit. If your name isn't Roy, or even a variation, but you can somehow find a way to incorporate it into my tattoo, I'm open to suggestions. About me: I'm 27, 5'4", 115 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, freckles and looking for love (and a way to keep my tattoo). Thanks fellas, Dynah
It's 8ft long. My neighbors figured out what was happening so I need to get rid of it today.
----To The Stoner Who Works At Cottage Inn Pizza:
You: the guy who answers the phone at cottage inn pizza
Me: Hungry and stoned out of my gourd
I called you from my cell phone but had completely forgot who I was calling by the time you answered the phone.
Of course, you were also baked to bajeezus and forgot to tell me that I had called Cottage Inn. When you answered and said, “Whatsup?” I thought about it, and after a 20 second pause I told you that was hungry.
You suggested I try a pizza, and I agreed that it was probably a good idea.
Then I asked you if you sold pizza and you said that you could make me one. I said I wanted anchovies and something else on my pizza.
You asked me what that something else was. We spent five minutes listing toppings until we figured out that I was trying to remember how to say: “Sun dried Tomatoes.”
When you said: “We'll bake that right up for you,” we both started laughing uncontrollably.
It was the best pizza I ever had; I just wanted to thank you for helping me out.
And, last but not least.......my all time favorite......
----Free Air Guitar:left handed vintage air guitar for free all thats needed is new strings and a good dusting.