Sunday, October 01, 2006


I just wanted to say how much I love my mom and how proud I am of her.

I never thought she would be capable of living the life she now leads. It's simple compared to most of our hectic days, but she is handling it on her own now.....I never thought she could.

It has been nearly eight years that she has been out on her own. Of course, there have been a few short term visits to the hospital since then, but nothing over a couple weeks. In fact, it's been almost two years now since she was in the hospital the last time. That's a record for her!!

She still has her "bad" days once in awhile. Those are the days when she sits in bed screaming what sound like obsenities in German. I never know what she's saying, but I know it's not good...I have learned to know that those times are temporary, and to just let them pass as calmly as possible. I do my best not to try to reason with her, because there's no talking a paranoid shizophrenic out of being paranoid.

The really sad thing about it is that she is aware of the fact that she wasn't making sense after the fact. Usually two or three days later, she'll appologize for things she said or did. She has always had such a kind heart. Everyone in the family has told me that she has been this way as long as they've known her........she must have been, for my dad to fall for her like he did. Even after they had been divorced for several years, and even after long term hospitalization, Dad always told me she was his one true love. There was a part of him that was very sad that it probably wouldn't ever happen. I believe that IS true. Even if dad was still around, I don't think Mom would be in the position she's in now. I truely believe that losing my father helped make my mom strong. It was the first time she didn't have Dad to take care of her. Within one year of the time Dad passed away, Mom was living on her own for the first time EVER. I am so proud of her.

I am so blessed to have had such a good relationship with my parents. Even though sometimes the roles are reversed with Mom and me, I couldn't be happier with her. And my dad....well that's for another blog......He would be proud too!!!!


enN2sp said...

It is ALWAY good to have wonderful relationship with your parents!

Even when they get on your nerves.

Andrea said...

Wow Allison, I can't believe it's been 8 years! That's amazing AND awesome!

I remember your mom telling us once about an episode she had. This was years ago when you a little kid. She was at the kitchen table telling us whatever she saw (Hallucinating a few days prior) she knew it wasn't real but at the time there was nothing anyone could have said to make her understand.

Deep in her brain, she knew it wasn't real but there was too much confusion in front of reason for it to make sense.

It's sad to me that such a sweet person can be so tormented at times. Wish I could just reach in there and pull out whatever is inside her head.

She's always had a real special spot with me because she was always so sweet to me. I don't know if it was because I was so young when she first came here, but she would always talk to me. I liked asking her lots of questions about Germany.

I'm really proud of her. 8 years is a long time. I know it's work for her every day but it's worth the work!